This short article appeared in China Times right before Valentine 2001. My translation below isn't exactly faithful. Well, I just couldn't resist. It is funny in its own way, but you probably need to be Chinese and have read the two famed novels "Dreams of the Red Chamber" and "Journey West" to fully appreciate the humor. In any case, it appears that Bill Clinton would also be very popular in China. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Men love Xie-bao-chai and women love Zhu-ba-jie Valentine is near and who are the dream lovers for the men and women in mainland China? Surprisingly, it is not the morally up-straight Tang-sheng, nor is it the delicate and fragile Ling-dai-yue, but the some what horny pig Zu-ba-jie and the politically savvy Xie-bao-chai. They are the two most beloved dream lovers. Shanghai's Labor Daily recently conducted a survey using the beauties of "Dreams of the Red Chamber" and the four main characters in "Journey West". People were asked to choose their ideal mates among them. From men, the sweet and classy Xie-bao-chai won with 5679 votes. The ambitious and energetic Wang-xi-feng got the second place with 2839 votes. Third place went to the cute and smart Qing-weng with 1894 votes. The loyal Xi-ren got 985. Even the shrewd wife of Bao-er (Bao-er-jia-de) got 103 votes. The out of the world Ling-dai-yue got a mere 5 votes. For the four characters in Journey West, among the 98 women, nobody chose Tang-sheng; 10 picked the monkey; 14 picked Sha-sheng, but an astounding 74 votes went to the pig. When asked why they didn't choose Ling-dai-yue, men said: "She is always ill. I will be serving her instead of the other way round. She is very jealous and with a sharp tongue. Will write depressing poems and paint weird stuff with the slightest provocation and is a bit of a bookworm. She is too sensitive, too idealistic and too naive. Also she thinks she is better than everyone else. Of course, Xie-bao-chai is the best. She understands people and their weaknesses; is politically savvy, tolerant and willing to compromise. Let's say I get drunk and come home late. She would understand if I was entertaining the boss or a customer. Can you imagine what Ling-dai-yue's reaction would be?" As to why women loved the pig, they said: "Tang-sheng? Don't make me laugh. He can't do anything and is totally useless. When danger comes, he gets all scared and all he knows is pray. What a wuss and a sissy. There is not a single manly fibre in him. Some pretty girl winks at him and he turns to pieces. What an idiot. The monkey is no good either. He has the manner of a low class street gang. A workaholic and all he knows is how to kiss up to his boss. Always on business trips and is out 108,000 miles at the drop of a hat. Doesn't give a damn about his family, wife and kids. Sha-sheng is such a country bumpin--too faithful, nice and obedient. Doesn't understand women's feelings and is totally bland. Would he ever take me to a wild party, for example? The pig is the best. Sure he is ugly, but is also cute and sweet and has feelings. He is very capable, cares about his family, knows how to enjoy a good life, very forgiving and seldomly gets mad. Ok, he is a sweet-talker and likes to take advantages of others, but in this day and age, a man like that is a winner. I believe even his boss likes him. Granted he had a few sex scandals in his past and is always looking at other women, but that only shows his virility. He knows how to please women and how to put romance in mundane daily lives. Such a man invokes powerful romantic feelings in me and perhaps a bit of jealousy too. Oh, he is so adorable."